I never know how to start off the first post of a blog. It’s kind of like trying to start a conversation with someone you don’t know very well. You know, you’re just standing there, probably flipping through your cellphone (hoping in vain that someone would call you right then) in that uncomfortable situation where you need to talk to the person next to you. You can practically feel the awkward turtles flying by your head.

Person A: So…um, where did you used to live in America?

Person B: I never lived in America before.

Person A: Oh.

Person A aimlessly flips through cellphone acting like they have an important text message to answer, then walks away to fake a call.

Sometimes if you’re lucky you’ll get a very bright and open person who was just waiting for someone to speak first and they’ll talk right away. But more often than not you’ll always run into those who I like to call “conversational serial killers.”

Person A: Do you like rap?

Person B: No. (Conversation dies.)

Person A: Oh, do you like rock? (Attempted CPR upon dead conversation.)

Person B: No. (CPR attempt fails.)

Person A: -shifts feet- Pop music? (Last ditch effort to revive dialog.)

Person B: Hate it. (Conversation gets thrown into fiery pits of hell.)

Now I try not to take it too personally. Maybe they’re just in a bad mood or something. Perhaps they’re best friend just died, or they had family issues in the past that traumatized them so harshly they can never trust another human being again.

……But I bet they’re just @$$holes.
-JANE-