My friend and chemistry buddy Nathan Cho randomly talked to me on msn today. Well we’re chill and all but we’re not the msn-every-day-all-the-time type of buddies you know? So when his name popped up on my screen I assumed it would be another question about chemistry homework (not that I resent it or anything) but instead he asked me if I was bored. Well, I was bored. I mean how else would I feel at 1 AM on a vacation night. So he told me to watch this short film on youtube that was (according to him) so good that if I didn’t watch it I would regret it. At first I dismissively declined, thinking it was another one of those rick roll things or one of those trick websites that have a video of a screaming person that FREAK THE HECK OUT of me. But he insisted, and I decided What the hell, it’s better than staring blankly at my fingernails hoping that something interesting would happen.

Well.

SIGNS is one of the bests films I have ever seen. It’s more heart-touching, more sweet, and more sincere than any big-shot Hollywood movie I’ve seen to date (except for I Am Sam and a few other notable exceptions. But I Am Sam deserves a blog post of its own so I’ll leave that for later).

Click here to watch the movie

I would write a response to the movie itself, but I think what Nathan said to me after I was done with the film was more interesting.

Nathan:
we all need love now
Nathan:
lol
Nathan:
yeahhh
Me:
ughh hahaha
Me:
but we’re still too young for that in my opinion
Nathan:
ha ha ha
Nathan:
not that kinda love
Nathan:
i mean like a person who you can rely on and talk about anything without any anxiety

Nathan is right. Romantic love is nice and tingly and gooey, but more than anything else we need understanding love. As Nathan put it, someone we don’t have to filter our thoughts and worries to, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be romantic. But my question is, can we really find a love like that? Find someone that will hold back our hair while we literally figuratively brain vomit?

In my opinion, no, we cannot. Or a very lucky, select few will be able to. Humans are humans, and we’re just as stupid and selfish and immature as the next monkey -it’s just that we make that stupidity, selfishness, and immaturity a lot more complicated. Do you really think that there is someone out there that will listen to your every worry and your every wish? People get sick of things. They’ll get sick your (bringing back the metaphor) brain vomit.

I would not like to subject anyone to my retarded cognitive backwash and I do not want to listen to anyone else’s for too long. And even if you do find someone who will listen to you, it doesn’t mean that they wil react. Maybe I’m just a little greedy or selfish, but if I tell my problem or worry to someone else, I want them to respond. They don’t need to give advice but something should show that they were actually listening to me. (It pisses me off when I’m talking about something important to me and I am met with blank stares or a simple comment such as “lol” or “that sucks”. I do realize that no one is actually obliged to care about what I say, BUT STILL. God. I like to be heard. Anyways I DIGRESS.)

If you’re not the kind of person to care whether you get a response such as breathing or blinking from the other person, just as long as they sit quietly and listen, then I guess finding that sort of “love” would be easy for you. But really that is not love at all, that’s just you being whiny, ignorant, and vain. Now I know some of you may be like “But you expect people to care about everything you say Jane! That’s MORE vain!” Well I resent that. If i actually expected people to hang on my every word, then yes, that would be quite egocentric of me. But I DON’T expect people to do that for me, which is my whole point. In the end, you are the only one who can deal with your own crap – and trust me, even that’s painfully difficult.

Yes, there will be friends and lovers that you can open up to. If your close with your mom, then she may end up being your most stable rock. But you should never be emotionally dependent on others. Not just because you’ll get hurt, but because you won’t be able to clean up your own mess. And when you can’t take care of yourself, then there is no way that you can take care of anything or anyone else in your life.