Things will go where they go

Things will go where they go.

That is my my new motto for life right now.

THINGS WILL GO WHERE THEY GO.

A river going where it will go

A river going where it will go

I know this may sound clichΓ© and obvious, but seriously, I think it’s the best way to do things.

Now when I say “things will go where they go”, I don’t mean that I’m just going to lean back and give up on life and let whatever happen happen. That’sΒ  little different. That’s called being apathetic and lazy (which I am to some extent – LOL). I mean that I am going to keep my effort high and my expectations low. I am not going to work to a particular goal or go for a particular thing – I am just going to be myself, keep doing what I do, and work hard in the general sense. All the best things that have happened to me have happened when I was not expecting anything. Keeping effort high and expectations low is the best combination because 1) keeping efforts high leads to high results and 2) keeping expectations low makes even small things pleasant surprises.

When people become too narrow-sighted, as in they work only for ONE or TWO specific goals, they shut off all possibilities for pleasant surprises. It’s like this: when you’re too focused on achieving ONE thing, it’s like you’re running head first down one-way concrete street with a golden palace at the end of the street. You’re not even looking around and seeing what else life has to offer; you’re too busy blindly running as fast as you can to the palace. Expectations are much too high and in most cases they will be disappointed – you may never reach the palace, or even if you do you might realize that the palace was just another house after all.

But when you are letting things go where they will go, its more like contentedly ambling around a park or forest or meadow or beach. You are still moving forward but without any particular aim in the distance blinding you, so you are free to look around and enjoy the view and be pleasantly surprised by whatever might come your way. And because you have no specific ending to your amble, whatever ending that comes will be satisfactory in one way or another. In fact, it’s not even really about the ending. It’s more about the pleasant surprises and lessons you’ve picked up on the way.

I think I need to keep in this in mind throughout my entire life. I always know this fact but I end up forgetting it when I set my sights on a glittery palace and then I start to jack up my expectations much too high, and then reality comes crashing down and I’m disappointed because as I said, the palace is just a place, or worse yet its not even there. From now on, I’m going to keep one big basic expectation: Just keep moving forward. Keep working hard and being productive. If I start being lazy and apathetic then the entire journey is meaningless and no surprises will ever come my way. But if I make sure I’m still moving in some direction (not backward, hopefully), I’ll be good. It’s not like I’m hopelessly stupid or slow or malicious in any sort of way; I don’t think I have any HUGE obstacles in my path.

SO WHATEVER!

Things will go where they go. Time to stop worrying and start doing.

— JANE

PS) Malaria medicine has some nasty side effects ughhhh

ESCAPE TO INDIA

In approximately 2 hours, I will be pulling a great escape to….INDIA! πŸ˜€

The fabled land of curry and spices…of elephants and ivory…of booming population growth and bollywood.

I absolutely cannot wait. India is one of those places I know only through my previous World History classes and a handful of Indian friends I met overseas during MUN conferences. It’s one of those places I only know by the Indian food restaurant 20 minutes away from my apartment. But no more. I will finally be able to see and smell and hear and touch (?!?!) and taste (?!?!) India for myself – or at least the Mumbai part of it.

So WHY am I going to Mumbai in the first place? It’s for something callethe GLOBAL FLATCLASSROOM PROJECT. Now it’s a relatively unknown and fresh idea so the number one question I get when I tell my friends that I’m going to this workshop is, “What the heck do you do there?”

And honestly friends, even though I have already attended one workshop in Hong Kong (which was absolutely amazing by the way), I’m not quite sure myself. I think the theme of the workshop changes per conference, so I’m not sure what will happen this time in Mumbai. But at least from what I gathered based on my experience in Hong Kong, we students are given a single issue to address (in Hong Kong, it was defining and bridging the Digital Divide). The most important part of the conference was that the students had to use Web 2.0 technology to compile a presentation and then present it (first) in front of other peers and (second) in front of an actual audience of adults, teachers, coordinators, and so forth.

I can’t wait to go to the conference and see what we have to do this time. I kind of hope the theme and format is different from the Hong Kong workshop (just for fun) so that I can try new things out. I also want to see what sorts of presentations we will be asked to make and I want to see if there will be a presentation competition as there was last time. I actually really really really really reallyyyyyyy hope I get to present in front of a large audience because I didn’t get to last time πŸ™ and I really love presenting in front of large audiences. I have no stage fright. I live off the rush that I get when I look around and see a sea of faces staring right back at me, listening to my words.

Of course, I’m most excited about meeting new people. Networking is always fun (lol facebook friend count increase!! Haha jk. a bit.) and last time at Hong Kong I was actually able to meet a few really good friends. Getting to expand my social network outside of our tiny little KIS is always a plus.

I’m just a little worried about what we will have to do – I have no idea as of yet. But I’m pretty confident that whatever is thrown at us, we will handle just fine, so whatever.

And on a non-workshop note, I am also worried about the culture shock of going from Korea to India. I have no clue about what it’s like over there; no clue how to act or what to say….I guess I’ll be figuring it out soon enough.

I still can’t believe I’m going to INDIA in a few hours…PSJDIUSTDITWD^WI@ it’s so surreal! INDIA!! wowwww.

Well I better go sleep seriously.

BYE!:)

Life is unfair.

Life is unfair. And I’m not talking about my life or any of my friends’ lives or anything like that. This post will not complain about homework or finals or SAT. Because compared to what’s happening in Haiti right now, homework and finals and SAT are…luxuries

I know I’m pretty late with this news, but I thought I’d address it anyway. Life is unfair. Sometimes I think that Life is like a little joker who isn’t really funny but tends to play practical jokes that just go wayyy too far. OF ALL AREAS IN THE WORLD that could have an Earthquake, it just has to be an area inhabited by many people. And OF ALL AREAS IN HABITED BY PEOPLE in the world, it just has to be the poorest area in the Western Hemisphere. An area with barely any proper infrastructure, an area with barely any proper medical institutions, an area where most people live under $2 and have to eat mudcakes for sustenance because 1) there is a food shortage there and 2) even if there is food the corrupt government barely distributes it properly.

WHY? Just WHY? I don’t get it. This kind of event makes me really wonder if there is some supernatural being presiding over this world, and if there is, what the (^&^#%$$&^%&* is he/she/it thinking? Why make bad things worse? WHY? Blehhhhhhhh jesus I feel so lucky that I am here, safe from the insanity in Haiti, but my god I kind of wish I could go to Haiti right now too. Not only so that i can provide humanitarian aid, but also so that I really see and feel and smell and hear the devastation so that I will not be able to sincerely complain about my life again. Even now, as I type this blog and look at horrifying pictures on CNN.com, i still don’t really understand the trauma and the impact, and that makes me feel hypocritical for even writing about this (if you get what I mean).

***

All pictures are courtesy of CNN.com. Click here for more. Warning: some of the pictures on the site (not the on I posted below) may be graphic or shocking.

12

Decimation of the Port-Au-Prince Cathedral

13

An injured elderly woman is rushed to help.

14

WHY???????????????

Donate to Haiti please! (beware of internet scams though – make sure that the organization you are donating to is credible. Later I’ll edit in a list of credible organizations). DONATE DONATEΒ  DONATEDONATEDONATEODATDHSUChkdf I cannot stress this enough. If you attend KIS make sure you donate money to the junior bottle!

***

Again, the logic of life fails me. I am speechless. Now I feel like all other blog posts before and after this one will be embarrassingly trivial. Sigh

Donate…

–JANE

Starting off slow

My lack of commitment to my blog is actually scaring me. This is not a good sign. I mean I can’t really judge my future relationship skills based on my blog maintenance, but come on, any form of neglect for anything can’t be a good sign. TIME FOR REFORM!!!! Fitting because it’s already 2010. Although really I could not care less. It’s a new decade, but nothing is different. I’m going to wait until 2015 for the effects of the new decade kick in. :0

KIS had the first two snow days in its entire history!!! Awesome! I love it when I get to be part of historic moments. Like when Pluto was stripped of its planetary status. Or when Obama was elected first president of the United States of McDonalds America.

New Year’s Resolution:

BLOG.

But I have precalculus chapter 4 corrections calling so now I must say goodbye. So…goodbye!

Inspiration

But first, I’m just going to say that yay, I’m back, it’s a new school year, and I’m already chewing off my toenails over the fact that I’m now in junior year and that junior year is The Year.

But I’ll lament about the horrors of grade 11 in some other post. Right now, I have a bigger issue to address.

One of the new classes that I am taking this year is Contemporary World Issues (hi, Mr. Spivey :D) and our homework assignment over the weekend was the watch a 20 minute video from TED.com. If you don’t know what TED is then… ugh just read the About page here I’ll link it for you: click.

So yes, it’s an awesome place. It doesn’t get the attention that it should be getting. Think of it as a youtube with one, huge, very effective filter that screens out atrocious videos such as Joe Jonas dancing to Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” in a tight black bodysuit. I mean really Joe Jonas, 1) you’re not a lady 2) you sure as hell are going to stay single after that monstrosity. But I digress. TED is full of great minds speaking out their ideas to the world – and the best thing is, it’s free! Or so they say. There is no such thing as a free lunch. But whatever, you don’t have to pay money.

******

THE POINT IS, for homework I had to watch a speech by edit: Larry Lessig and his speech was basically about why the copyright system in America right now is not as good as it seems. (The link to the speech is at the end of this post. So you’ll HAVE to read this before you can watch it! πŸ˜€ HA)

He says the copyright law stifles creativity. He says that it stifles the “Read-Write” culture of our generation and tries to turn it into a “Read-Only” culture. This is not to say that people can rip anything off and completely call it as their own, but people do have the right to “remix” their world. He says that the young generation – our generation – cannot be stifled because the “instinct” to use technology to express ourselves and our opinions about life and the world. We have the “instinct” to “remix” what we get in our lives and spit back out to the public.

Mr. Lessig is right. As part of the Next Generation (and I capitalize that because yes, I think we’re important, kthanks), I can definitely feel the oppression of the copyright law wherever I go in cyberspace. Am I being melodramatic? Probably, but in all seriousness, our generation does have the “instinct” to “remix” our world. Pop culture is thrown at our faces in the form of magazines, TV shows, commercials, internet sites, and ads, why can’t we take it and throw it right back? What’s wrong with “remixing”?

The “remixing” of the world can come in the form of anime music videos, parodies, video projects, amateur documentaries, music videos of characters of One Tree Hill kissing to Nickleback… anything. The “remixing” of the world by the Next Generation doesn’t have to be academic. It doesn’t have to be enlightening. It doesn’t even have to be classy. Actually, most of the time, it’s not really classy. But it’s important.What’s so important about the infestation of Naruto AMVs on youtube, the videos of failed dirt bike tricks to hardcore metal, or Joe Jonas dancing to “Single Ladies”?

It shows that we, as the youth, are interacting with each other. We are “participating” in the global culture. We are “writing” as well as “reading” culture, instead of, as the speaker said (seriously I’ll try to find his name ASAP), passively “only reading” the culture manufactured and doled out to us. The people who make videos shipping (definition here) their favorite Twilght characters, as moronic as they may be, are at least “participating” in the world around them. At least they are giving some sign of response that shows they know what’s going on in their lives. We cannot filter out this participation – either by law or by personal disdain – or else we would be making a “Read Only” culture all over again.

******

As most should know, Youtube is like a huge barrel of apples. Occasionally, there are a few really awesome apples (users), but more often than not you will run into an apple that is rotten, deformed, and ugly. Youtube is THE place for racist comments, for sexist criticisms, and for generally ignorant and slap-worthy remarks. But in a way, we kind of need that. We need someone to say something so stupid it evokes a response. By “participating” in the global community, the ignorant people are giving something for the better people of the world to care about and respond to.

I seriously don’t know if what I’m saying is making any sense right now. I kind of have a problem with expressing the ideas in my ahead precisely to the public. But hopefully, you catch my drift, and may be I’ll edit this post later if I find a better way to phrase my thoughts.

******

So this means that technically, I should thank Joe Jonas for his video because it shows that he is “participating” in our world, regardless of whether his participation is wanted. He is not only a figure of culture, but also a consumer, and more importantly, a builder of our culture as well. People like him are the people making our society a “Read-Write” culture, not a “Read-Only” one.

So I guess thank you to Mr. Lessig who made this speech in the first place, and thanks Mr. Spivey for assigning such inspiring and fun homework for CWI. I can only cross my fingers and hope that future assignments are as easy as this one was. (But I already get the feeling that my chances are looking bleak. Ugh.)

— JANE πŸ˜€

Top Ten

I wish.

Top Ten things I can’t wait to do over the summer:

  1. Run by the Han River park area. The place just got newly renovated with fountains and artifical islands and biking areas and stuff, plus the Hannam bridge was modified to create a walking area for pedestrians. Basically, I can cross over the river on foot now πŸ˜€
  2. Go to the beach. This will probably happen only once, if I’m lucky. But I still can’t wait to go.
  3. Go to Caribbean Bay. Again, this will probably happen only once. Or maybe twice? As long as hakwon doesn’t get in the way…
  4. Go to the COEX Aquarium with Elaine and DEEDEE! Because we’re cool like that. And also I want to see the fish and sharks there again. πŸ˜€
  5. Actually have time to read. And I will probably be forced to because of summer reading assignments (joy). This whole year I’ve barely been able to make time for school reading, and reading for pleasure was completely out of the picture (save for KIS Reads…which is the most useless club block ever. I hate reading at school; I only like to read in the comfort of my home).
  6. Forget everything that I learned in AP World History.
  7. Having Criminal Minds marathons, Jenn included. πŸ™‚
  8. SHOPPING!:D Haha sorry, I had to throw that one in. I think that’s the best part. Now if only my supply of money was endless…
  9. Sleeping until 12 PM every morning.
  10. Anticipate the beginning of next year. We all hate school, but I think after two months of hakwon and hakwon homework, school might sound a bit more enticing.*

* But not for long.

– JANE

Angels and Demons

NOTE: Italicized text under pictures are the pictures’ captions, not me randomly spewing off sentences that have nothing to do with the post.

—————

In the words of good friend of mine, while watching the opening credits of the movie:

“Oh, I thought it was Angels versus Demons. This is gonna suck.”

LOL.

Sadly, my friend was right, though not exclusively due to a misinterpretation of the title. Still, the movie was quite a disappointment. Who am I kidding, I totally walked into that movie theatre expecting something akin to a victim of bad plastic surgery. Why, you ask? I’ll break it down for you in five digestable parts (but considering horridness of those five parts, you may suffer from indigestion). (I am so full of weird metaphors today).

1) Tom Hanks.

This man was a subject on my friend’s blog (Dongju) that I think she covered quite nicely. I’ll just throw in some opinions of my own. First, WHY Tom Hanks? Just let that question sit there for a while. Ponder it. Contemplate it. Shake your fists to the sky in despair about it. WHY TOM HANKS? I was always under the impression that Dr. Robert Langdon would be one of those nerdy-yet-irresistably-cute-and-strangely-attractive professors, like Michael Gubler on Criminal Minds as Dr. Reid. I mean thats how Dan Brown wrote him in his books. But wow, I guess the casting team of The Da Vinci Code and consequently Angels and Demons didn’t share my impression.

Here’s what I saw in the book:

“Although not overly handsome in a classical sense…Langdon had what his female colleagues referred to as an “erudite” appeal – wisps of gray in his thick brown hair, probing blue eyes, an arrestingly deep voice, and the strong, carefree smile of a collegiate athelete. A varsity diver in prep school and college, Langdon still had the body of a swimmer, a toned, six-foot physique that he viligantly maintained with fifty laps a day in the university pool.” (Brown 5)

Here’s what I saw in my head:

Is this even appropriate?

<3

+

Chock full of nerdy cuteness

<3

=

Hoo hoot.

oh yes.

Here’s what I saw on screen:

Yes, please arrest me with that smile.

+

=

Leonidas does not approve.

Leonidas does not approve.

Not only does the passage written provide a new SAT vocabulary word to know (“erudite: having or showing great knowledge or learning”), but it provides a VERY CLEAR DESCRIPTION of what dear old Langdon looks like.

THICK hair: This man has none.

DEEP voice: Again, this man has none. But he does have the nasal voice of a middle-aged man trying too hard to be sarcastic and witty.

CAREFREE smile: Well, it depends on how one defines “carefree”. I, however, do not define it as “Tom Hanks baring teeth”.

BODY OF A SWIMMER: Well, so Tom Hanks was swimming in the movie. That got that much right. Can’t say much for the body.

TONED, SIX FOOT physique that is VILIGANTLY MAINTAINED: Fail.

NOW, if Tom Hanks still looked like THIS:

Aging is scary.

Then why the monkey not? But oh wait, he doesn’t. FAIL.

2) Max Kohler

Or lack thereof. Ok ok, I understand that Angels and Demons was BASED off the book, not a literal page-to-screen translation of it. But it really annoyed me how little detail the movie actually had about the very things that made the book so intriguing.

For one, MAX FREAKING KOHLER was completely cut out of the script. In the book, he is one of the central characters of the story. He’s the one who calls Robert Langdon for help. He’s the one that Dan Brown makes off as the bad guy until the very end when the truth is revealed. Sadly, they deemed him unimportant and disregarded him. Not only did the scriptwriters cut out one of my favorite characters, but they all cut out a character that added significant meaning to the whole point of the book. The book was trying to reflect the struggle between SCIENCE and the Catholic Church. Now in the book, Max Kohler represents the scientist and Church represents, well, the Church (bet you didn’t see that one coming).

Max Kohler is shown as the skeptical science freak trying to bring down a thousand years of human faith. He exemplifies the theme of church vs. science. But he isn’t there in the movie, so now theme of church vs science is all muddled up because it’s the CHURCH that invites Langdon in yet it’s still science vs church but science actually plays a very small role in the movie WHICH IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO and just…fail.

3) Art

So much more important than it looks.

So much more important than it looks.

While the book makes the hunt for the four churches look like some sort of amazing, intellectual, artitsic treasure hunt, the movie makes it look like a deranged life-size version of Clue. With cardinals that have punctured lungs. Or something. In Angels and Demons the book, art plays a fundamental role in the plot and the message of the book. The moving force of the plot is Bernini and his sculpture, and his apparent placement of pagan symbols in Christian churches and works of the art. Whether Dan Brown’s analysis and assumptions are correct or not, it’s still extremely interesting. The book makes you realize the depth of art, the possibilities of interpretation and the double meanings artists skillfully and cleverfully place in their works. In the movie, it’s more sort of like brain vomit:

“OMG! Pyramids in a Christian temple? A star – a pentagon! It leads to…the SOUTH! Tombs worshipping the sun! AHHH! WE’RE TOO LATE! IT’S 10:00! BURNING CARDINAL! SKULLS! SKULLS!”

Sense: This scene makes none.

Sense: This picture makes none.

Which leads to my next point…

4) Incoherency and what happened to the demons?

Watching Angels and Demons is kind of like experiencing a fragmented dream…One moment you’re here, and another moment you’re there, but you’re not quite sure what happened in between. In Angels and Demons, one moment Tom Hanks is showing off his bod in a pool, the next moment he’s choking in the Vatican Library, the next moment he’s standing above a 20-foot-deep hole, next he’s in the hole and running over a huge pile of SKULLS (referring to the “SKULLS! SKULLS” remark from before), suddenly Tom Hanks gets a flash of brilliance and runs across to the other side of Rome, then he’s in the Vatican church again, then out of nowhere the antagonist of the story jumps into a car which promptly explodes with NO EXPLANATION GIVEN (was it a suicide? was it an attack? was it a fart gone wrong? WE MAY NEVER KNOW), and then KABAMASPLODE end credits. So perhaps I’m exaggerating things slightly, but it’s not far off. At least in my opinion. And hey, that’s the only thing that matters, right?

Huh? What? How did that happen?

Huh? What? How did that happen? Why is he on the roof of the Church?

Not only that. but the entire theme of the book (as said before) is entirely misrepresented, if represented at all, in the movie. This book is about (surprisingly) angels and demons, good and evil, man and god, science and faith. This is not to say that science is a “demon” or anything like that, but the point of this book is to show what happens when two seemingly opposite forces collide. Heck, Dan Brown even threw in matter and antimatter bit if that doesn’t make the theme any clearer (if it doesn’t, go back to English 10. Fail.). The book centers around the reconciliation between scientific progress/natural law and the spiritual faith in man. And what does the movie center around?

.

.

.

Damnit.

This guy right here.

And finally, the last part of my justification as to why Angels and Demons was a huge insult to the work of Dan Brown…

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

5) Will Smith.

Because everything is cooler with Will Smith.

Indeed.

— JANE–

PS) I suck at promises. πŸ™‚

Lose weight, get healthier

As a girl, weight is a huge issue for me. No, I don’t have an eating disorder, thank you. (You know, whenever a girl who is not grotesquely overweight says “I want to lose some weight” people immediately accuse her of having an eating disorder. People need to stop doing that. “You don’t need to lose weight!” Well, that’s my choice. It’s not like I’m going to take laxatives or stick a finger down my throat. Calm down people. BUT I DIGRESS.)

You know, sometimes losing weight isn’t as hard as it is made out to be. It’s just that we associate losing weight with unpleasantness because, well, we make it unpleasant. We force ourselves to devote an hour of our time to exercise, and we make a concious effort to curb munchie cravings at 12 AM (and any person knows that curbing those cravings is PAINFUL). But if you want to lose weight without the dread, then you should find ways to incorporate health into your life naturally so that you don’t have to think about or force yourself into doing them.

So here is a list of ways to help you:

  1. Brush your teeth after every meal, especially after dinner. You know that nasty sensation when you eat an orange or a piece of chocolate (or basically anything) after you’ve JUST brushed your teeth? Yea, well, it’s ugly, and no one likes an ugly taste in their mouth. Use this as a weapon against those after-meal cravings. Brush your teeth as soon as you finish lunch, and so when you see a rogue Ferrero Rocher laying around the house, your fresh and minty breath will serve as a reminder of the ugliness you will suffer if you do choose to eat that Ferrero Rocher.
  2. Carry around less money. If you’re going out for a walk or jog, carry just enough money for a bottle of water (usually 800-1000 won in Korea). If your going on a grocery trip, carry around just enough cash to get what you need (so plan your budget out ahead of time) or at least promise yourself to not go over on the card. What I’ve found out is that if I ever have a lot of money when I leave the house, I end up buying snacks even if I’m not hungry just because I have the money. Imagine how much money you spend on snacks. WHAT A WASTE. And the only things you get out of using money on snacks is fat and a fleeting moment of joy. So if you limit the amount of money you carry around, you’ll be forced to give up buyingsnacks on whim and on the go.
  3. If you have retainers, wear them more often. Especially after every meal. This tip only applies if you actually have retainers, but it can go hand in hand with tip number one. First, you need to brush your teeth before putting on retainers unless you want to risk having decayed food particles stuck between the plastic/metal and your teeth. This already sets up the “minty taste that ruins everything” barricade. Second, retainers are bulky, and it is impossible to eat with them, unless you’re a disgusting person. Once you go through the trouble of brushing you teeth and then washing your retainers and then putting them in, you’ll be too lazy to go through that AGAIN when snack cravings come around.
  4. Walk wherever you can. This one is kind of obvious. If you can get to some place by walking (or biking I guess) rather than bus, car, or taxi, then walk. Not only is it better for the environment, but it throws in exercise that you don’t have to set aside separate time in the gym for. You won’t even remember that you’re exercising because you’re too focused on getting to your destination.
  5. Or if you do plan on setting aside some time to exercise, listen to music so that you have something else to focus on other than your own panting breath and sweat. This one is obvious too.
  6. Adding on to this exercise thing, if you like sports, then play sports. If you’re like me and would rather kiss the feet of John Travolta (who I despise by the way. Hairspray? Drag? Really, John, really?) than play sports, then play WII sports! πŸ˜€ If you have Nintendo Wii, that is. If you don’t then…GG.
  7. Do you eat snacks when you’re studying or working? Do you eat snacks when you’re watching TV or surfing youtube for the latest update of Susan Boyle? Figure out your regular snack eating locations and then put your snacks as far away as possible. Humans are usually lazy, and you, dear reader, are most likely human, and therefore you will most likely be very lazy as well. “But I love snacks so much I’d walk miles for them!” Yeah, no. Don’t count on that. I usually do homework in my bedroom and I watch TV in the living room, and in order to get to snacks I have to walk to the other side of the apartment, into the storage area, and dig through miles of Tupperware containers in order to grab a cookie or some chips. It gets tiring after a while. So even if I want a snack while working on an English essay for a blog post, I’m just too lazy to go through that entire ordeal.
  8. Start replacing the unhealthy snacks with healthy ones. Okay, so nothing can really replace the sweet and joyful sensation of eating a piece of Cadbury chocolate (cue saliva), but most of the time when you want to eat a snack, you don’t want the snack and you don’t want to eat. You just want something to do. And eating snacks not only gives your mouth something to do, but it throws in some fun for your tastebuds as well. Really guys, that’s stupid. So if you start placing some HEALTHY snacks around your house (in some easily accessible locations), then you will solve both problems of a bored mouth AND losing weight. Eat peanuts, almonds, or cashews instead of chips. Naturally sugary fruits instead of gummy worms and cookies. Just healthy stuff in general (you can google search this on your own). And if you’re allergic to fruits and nuts and whatnot….then just don’t eat, damnit.
  9. To Korean people especially: STOP WITH THE RAMEN!! ESPECIALLY THE CUP RAMEN!!! I personally don’t like ramen so I never had a problem with it, but i mean COME ON PEOPLE. IT’S BASICALLY A CUP FULL OF OIL, GREASE, CHEMICALS, AND GOD KNOW WHAT ELSE. Hell, there could be something like rat feces in that crap. Who KNOWS what gets into those cups of doom and cellulite?! (Actually, that’s kind of redundant in a way.)

See people? It’s not all that hard. It’s easier than forcing yourself to do 30 grueling minutes of Stairmaster at the gym. I’m not saying that Stairmaster is useless, but there are easier ways to lose weight and get healthier for those of us who are less motivated. Like me. I hate Stairmaster. If you’re actually serious about losing a lot of weight, then you’ll have to do much more than the things I listed above. But you know, small steps always come first. πŸ˜‰

–JANE–

I am writing this blog at 2:38 AM after the LONGEST, most ARDUOUS, most ANNOYING art history review ever. I hate Gothic art and architecture. My brain feels like freakin potato salad with maggots crawling through the decaying lettuce leaves of my brain. Honestly I don’t even know what I’m saying right now. Did that potato maggot brain simile make sense? Most likely not. Perhaps Stephanie Meyer wrote her books in this sort of state of mind as well…hence the uterus-ripping and the stone-placenta of Breaking Dawn. But I digress…well I’m not even talking about anything specific so I’m not really digressing from anything…I’m just ambling..like an ambulatory in Saint Sernin HAHA oh god I will see (<–?!?!) feel so much better after AP art history is over.

I really don’t feel like blogging these days.. I don’t know why. Too much AP stress? But I do need to catch up on blogging.

I promise that I will have a much better post later. Like SOON later.

I’ll leave you with a picture that describes my feelings exactly:

I AM ABOUT TO BURST.

APs DIE DIE DIE

— JANE

Breaking Twilight in the New Moon at Dawn

I wrote this rant about the “Twilight Saga” (I love how they make it seem so much cooler than it really is) a long time ago (probably at around 4 AM) when I had just finished reading Breaking Dawn. Okay I admit, I didn’t get through the whole book (reasons are covered below). The utter lunacy spilling from the pages of the book forced me to stop and I read the end on wikipedia. The first time I’ve ever had to do that. ANYWAYS, I thought this rant would be interesting to post up. See if you agree!

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So I pretty just wasted about, oh I don’t know, EIGHT HOURS OF MY LIFE. And no, it was not wasted on some weird, overly-drawn out Indian movie, but on a book. Breaking Dawn to be exact.

Ok, let me rephrase. Technically, I have wasted 8345834 HOURS OF MY LIFE by reluctantly trudging through the dungpit-esque books of the “Twilight saga.” From Twilight to New Moon to Eclipse, I have dragged my self through the possibly non-existent plot in a strange love-hate relationship with the books, despising and craving at the same time. I don’t know how to describe it…it’s kinda like when you’re watching a seriously dumbtarded movie and yet you’re still compelled to watch it to the very end, only to scream in frustration and throw a hatchet at the TV monitor when you DO reach the end. (A perfect example would be this Japanese movie I watched a long time ago, where a ton of useless crap happens and then the main character dies of ovarian cancer or something.)

But dude. Woah. Breaking Dawn?

DO. NOT. WANT.

Breaking Dawn is where I had to draw the freakin LINE. Man, it wasn’t even a line. It was like the Great Wall of China with barbed wire and tasers on top. I couldn’t even finish the book. You know what I had to do? I had to go to wikipedia and read the spoilers, which is the number one thing i hate doing when it comes to reading books.

Where to start?!

First off, throughout the whole series, it pissed me off so much how

a) Bella was ALWAYS like “omfg edward so hotttt” and just wouldn’t st*u about it.

b) Bella has like seriously, NO SELF ESTEEM WHATSOEVER. “I feel like a lumpy piece of coal when I stand next to Edward.” (or something to that effect.) WHAT KIND OF MESSAGE IS SHE SENDING TO HER AUDIENCE, WHICH IS MAINLY COMPRISED OF BORDER-HORMONAL, PRE-PUBSCENT TWEENY BOPPERS THAT DRULZ AT EVERY EDWARD SPARKLE?! (Despite the fact that its “young adult fiction”.) If Bella, who is madly in LURRRVE with her “shimmery, eyed” bloodsucking stud muffin (aka Edward), keeps comparing herself to him at every chance she gets and puts herself down, how do you think young girls would feel next to their boyfriends or some guy that they deem hotter than themselves?

c) And this damsel in distress party got sooooo old. And her being all clumsy and awkward, but endearingly so. And also her being oblivious to the advances of the guys in her school, claiming that she’s just “ordinary” and “plain.” (But she is.)

d) i HATE how she led Jacob on SO MUCH. WHAT THE HAELL MAN?! During that one period Edward was gone, she literally used Jacob like a drug (I’m pretty sure she admitted herself in a chapter, in fact.) Then Edward pops out of nowhere, and its like, “o hay, lulz sry mah bad bb but ilyily!!!<33 kthxbi.” She can’t even let him go later on; every single chapter she keeps saying “But Jacob I love you so much you’re a part of me!”

SHUT UP!!!

wtfink is that even possible? What is going through Meyer’s mind?

But all this is whatever. Just nagging itches at the back of my head, compared to the asplosion of my brain cells that occurred after reading Breaking Dawn.

One, I know tthe books are young adult fiction, but honestly the REAL age group the books are attracting is again, the tweeny boppers. And Breaking Dawn, let’s just say that there are a lot of….”mature” scenes, even though the author narrates them like a prude (and I ask myself: WHY include mature scenes if you’re going to narrate them in the same way a father might have an awkward birds-and-the-bees talk with his wide-eyed son? Is the author trying to make the characters seem more “real”? There’s NOTHING real about a perfect romance with a freakin vampire.) Reading through those scenes, and trust me there are quite a few of them, just made me feel really awkward and bothered.

Also, I don’t know if it’s just me, but Stephenie Meyer seems to emphasize external beauty so much. Bella, who constantly compares herself to everyone, says she feels “sick to her stomach” when she’s in the same room as Rosalie because she is such a “knock out.” Gee, thanks for the ego boost there. Even on her wedding day, Bella is unable to look at her reflection in the mirror because she fears that it is ugly. Wouldn’t that be called some sort of body-image disorder or something!? And in the end, she becomes a vampire, through really weird and disturbing means, and at first all she can do is admire herself in the mirror and gloat that finally she feels “equal” with Edward.

Speaking of weird and disturbing, what the hell is up with the demon child sprouting up in Bella’s belly and killing her from the inside out? How can a vampire and human have a baby?! I thought vampires….nevermind. And then there’s this whole gory thing where she has to drink blood and then suddenly she starts spewing fountains of blood so finally Edward has to literally gnaw his way through Bella’s utureus to free the baby. With his teeth, since apparently vampire teeth are the only things strong enough to tear the placenta of a half-human baby.

I’m serious.

And to top it all off, the ONE character that I liked, the ONE character that made me push myself through all three and two-thirds of these books, imprints himself on a newborn (talking about Jacob here). A NEWBORN!!! THAT WILL BE IN A PERPETUAL STATE OF CHILDHOOD! Dude, now this is getting too ethically touchy. I mean…pedo, much? After I figured out that Jacob imprints himself on the baby, I shut the book and shook my fists to the heavens in despair.

And then all this useless drama happens where the Volturi are like “o noez half human demon child! must exterminate!” but Bella and the gang are like “no wai r yooh tuchin mah babi!” etc.

I must give Stephenie MEyer credit for one thing, however. She has a talent for cracked writing. Why else would I read all four books.

I need a life.

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I still feel the same way.